“Leap Year Proposals” from the Wellington Enterprise (1904)
Leap year has come and that the ladies may have a fair show of exercising the privilege that Bissextile is popularly supposed to bring with it, a list is furnished for their inspection. The constitution guarantees to every citizen of these United States life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. To a large proportion of the population the pursuit of husbands and the pursuit of happiness are synonymous terms. Hence these hints. Where shall we begin? Our friend M.L. Carpenter has recently got in out of the wet; so he is off our list. You all know our good friend Will Tissot. He is a sly and modest young bachelor of, we will not say how many summers. He is a thriving, well-to-do druggist, lives with his father and sisters, and is well calculated to make some woman a very happy home. He is good looking, fine dresser, belongs to all the clubs, wears a “lamb skin” apron, and takes a leading role in all society events. Put him on your list, girls, as eligible, providing you can win him.
Guy E. Wells, of the firm of the Fitch, Wells Co. He’s young and handsome; smiles, but never laughs. A right royal fellow, nice to all the girls, but hard to land. Several times it has been said of him, “he has no heart, has given it away,” and lo, he “bobs up serenely” and mothers with marriageable daughters, still have him on the list, but 1904 may draw him into the vortex. Watch and wait.
Harry C. Otterbacher; genial, fond of all the fair ones, but partial to none. Gets bigger, richer, and handsomer than ever each leap year. He has business-like habits and is capable of keeping the bin full of coal at blizzard rates. He is ready to receive and examine sealed proposals but reserves the heaven born right to accept or reject all bids made during leap year. The woman who becomes the “fortunate winner,” will be envied and congratulated, and will obtain a delightful traveling companion down the voyage of life. He has not purchased the ring yet. So the field is open.
Frank Bowlby, connected with the business firm of Bowlby & Hall, is a Wellington boy in every sense of the word. Does not care greatly for society, but would willingly travel in double harness with a wife rich enough to support him comfortably. He is au fait in all elegancies of life, and warranted not to scare at trains, under four yards long. As he is fond of the ladies the first to propose might capture him. Alas! We fear not, but in the bright lexicon of the leap year girl, there’s no such word as “fail.”
Dr. J.C. Dignan, a man of beauty and a joy forever with good complexion and fine eyes. His beauty is of the classic style, resembling Lord Byron. He is of generous disposition, with hair inclined to curl, and a most charming moustache. Is eligible, and as far as is known, “fancy free.” He has a fine practice, is a splendid gentleman, and ought to be captured this year. Put him down as one to be saved, and let not the sun go down upon your waiting, but strike and win.
H.B. Wright, widower and druggist, of excellent habits and retiring manners; possesses the qualities of a model husband. He has lately purchased the entire business of his store, and ought to be landed in the matrimonial prize list before leap year passes by. It is hinted that a county seat maiden is on his track. The woman who can make it impossible for Henry to leave Wellington for a bride, will be doing her duty, for “He’s all Wright.”
L.V. Banning, a hustler, good looker, genial, is ready to consider all comers. He has resided here all his life, has a clean record, and is one of the promising young business men of the city. He has no business to be a bachelor, and if the girls do their duty 1905 will see him a muchly married man. Go for him, and watch him blush. One of Vern’s generous freaks is selling $1.00 worth of groceries for 90c cash. Add him to your list, girls, and may be you can capture him.
Now, girls, this is our first installment, but there’s more to follow if you care to read. When you have carefully studied the qualifications of the eligibles herein mentioned do not hesidtate to use the privilege which one year in four gives you, and “pop the question.” The choice of your affection can no more than say; “No,” and it is hardly probable that they would any of them so wound your tender regard. So the slight embarrassment passed, the wedding bells will ring merrily and you will both live happily ever after.
Dear girls be bold,
You are growing old,
Old Time, then by the forelock take,
This is “Leap Year”
Throw off all fear,
And indirect proposal make.
Proceed with skill,
And then you will
A bashful “Yes” from lovers draw,
So, take the cue,
Say, “How would you,
Like mother for a mother-in-law?”
It is an undeniable fact that Wellington is well supplied with bachelors who are each capable of making some woman happy. But really “good catches” ought to be snapped up this leap year. We are afraid, some are already “spoken for,” but still they remain outside the matrimonial pale and are still in the market, for “there’s many a slip,” etc. We advise our girls to adjust their matrimonial eye-glasses upon this list of beauty and when the match is made, just order your wedding cards at THE ENTERPRISE office, so we may know our labor has not been in vain.
Frank Reounard, the ever popular and fascinating Frank, devoted to all the girls and partial to one. He is fond of the sex, but wary to catch. He decidedly prefers the Wellington bells to any outside beauties, and it is said one particular street in the city sees him quite often. It is possible he does not belong in the list, but we give his merits for it would never do to leave him out. While there is life there is hope, and this is a list of bachelors, but ring the bell softly girls, until you grasp the situation. In Frank’s case you must note his good looks, his amiable disposition and hustling qualities. He is a “jim dandy,” loose of foot, nimble of tongue, with a smile that is captivating and a heart that is as true as steel.
Frank Van Cleef is the son of one of Wellington’s wealthy and respected follow citizens. He can sing well, is a student in the classic halls of Oberlin, and the girl who wins him must be intellectual as well as handsome. Agreeable, good looking, with splendid prospects, it would be strange if another leap year sees him single. Betty apply early – and often. A faint heart never won a fair young man.
Dr. Grose is one of the leading “jaw manipulators” of this city. He believes in home missions, is generous and big-hearted, but has not yet surrounded himself with sufficient protection to bar him out of the list of eligibles. He is faithfulness itself and is amply provided with experience and the needful. He could make a wife comfortable, but is single still. “Hello!” “What’s that?” “Yes, same address.” “Ring off.”
Jack Gardner is a practical druggist, and his every day life is more devoted to business than the girls, but he admires them just the same, and wears a sweet smile whenever they pass by. There is no doubt he would prove an affectionate “hubby,” for he is built that way, and besides would raise a pair of side-whiskers and save his earnings. Size him up girls, and if you propose, he will say, “Yes, thank you,” and then your fate will be settled.
“Clair” Converse is in every sense of the word “a dandy.” He has traveled the world over several times with Hi Henry, is a good looker, energetic and economical but is a “sly duck” just the same and will be hard to lasso. Still if some level-headed maiden of 18 or 30 summers, will elevate her leap year finger and say, “Ah there my cherry,” “Connie” will respond with a smile that is childlike and bland, and will proceed to revel in the wild and exhilarating sport of housekeeping according to the latest methods of minstrelsy. So we will say no more. “Connie” is all right.
Robert Laundon, son of our fellow townsman, S.K. Laundon, is at present out in the “wild and wooly west,” but certainly his heart is at home, and he belongs in the Wellington list, for Robert is the “best ever.” He dances gracefully, sings a little, and listens sweetly to a lady’s voice. He may be classed in the market as a model young man, but we hear he is as “good as gone.” He has deep, sparkling eyes, so move cautiously in his direction, girls, but march on to win or lose, as the case may be. The ring is said to be turquoise set with Rhinestones or something of that sort.
Now there is our old friend G.E. Culver, who has been keeping bachelor’s hall, lo, these many years. He is a prince among good fellows, a stone mason by trade, a sailor who owns a yacht, and has a home, his honest earnings. Some single lady who desires a home and a good “running mate,” had better see Culver at once. He is somewhat bashful but has sand enough to meet any and all comers.
Now, girls, we close this chapter and there will certainly be but one more if any, so peruse this installment carefully and proceed to storm the bulwarks of “Bachelorville” in the near future. Some of these, we suspect, are beyond the range of eligibility, but a bachelor is a bachelor and therefore to be won. All is fair in love or leap year.
So maidens dear,
The list is here,
We leave with you these bashful beaux
Who smile and sigh
And oft come nigh,
To popping, but who ne-er propose.
We close our eligible list with apologise (sic) to any who have been omitted; it was for want of space. Of course the list is incomplete, it is only representative. We call attention to Wellington as a place of residence, and also capable of sustaining many business interests not yet represented, with a splendid assortment of bachelor maids, widows and ladies of uncertain age. The summer will bring warm evenings, pleasant porches, swinging hammocks, dark and “moony” evenings, ice cream, good roads, and plenty of opportunity for courting. It is for the leap year girl to break up this deadly bachelor habit. At the entrance of the next leap year we hope to chronicle a number of names who have entered the charmed circle of matrimony, with their days gladdened and their night’s rest broken by “the youngsters.”
Do not put off until tomorrow what you ought to do today. Remember that procrastination is the thief of time. Wear your happiest smiles and go in the win, then you’ll succeed.
Hob. C. Cushion, one of the bright young men of this city, is often lonesome because he is alone, smart enough, good looking enough to accept the heart and hand of any nice girl. He is a “rosy posy” catch and should not be allowed to see another leap year as a single man.
J.M. Smith, with the Daugherty & Robinson co., is one of the “salt of the earth” kind, and consequently one of the most model young men in town. He is a blonde, with winsome eyes, sweet disposition, a hustler, healthy, good looking and earnestly deserves the company of a lovely woman, in fact the girl who wins him will be more of a heroine than was Pocahontas, when she saved the life of Capt. John Smith. Make his acquaintance girls, and you’ll like him.
Jay Sheldon is very highly recommended to the leap year damsel, as a man who has no bad habits, except confirmed bachelorhood, unless rescued from such a perilous state this year. He is as steady as a clock, and shows no preference for any particular belle. He has managed to slip through all nets set for him thus far, and may go in hiding during the dangerous months of leap year, unless caught early in the season. Apply at once.
Leveret Webster is the son of E.F. Webster of this city, who resides in a handsome mansion on Prospect street. He is well educated and a good conversationalist, with ample means to make a helpmeet happy. Mr. W. has an aristocratic air, and unless captured this leap year might go elsewhere, for he has traveled considerably and does not care much for gay society. Refined, educated and entertaining it would be a great pity to let him escape. He should be picked at once.
Ed. Bernard is rather the best looking bachelor in town, and bears his years well. He is a graduate of the Wellington High School, has a talent for the stage, and can repeat “My kingdom for a hoss” like Booth in his palmist days. Ed. Is something of a comedian also, and would (you know he is bashful) if asked, accept the hand of the right girl, and we believe he would make a model husband.
J. Watson Wilbur is another good catch. He sings well, writes poetry, has a literary mind and is a vivacious and sterling young bachelor. Girls, look after his interest. He needs a mate, and the right kind of a girl can certainly capture him.
There’s Lon Webster, a middle-aged and jolly, with a home and a heart big enough for two. A native of ye Western Reserve, and has seen 50 summers and just as many winters. Good man, respected citizen and ought to have “been gone and done it” many years ago.
Leon Loveland is all right as the first half of his name would indicate. He is handsome, rosy-cheeked, moral, saving and genial, and ought to make a “happy home for you,” dear girl, whoever you may be. Mr. L. Drives a rural route and can be seen at almost any time. Approach him; he is not bashful.
Marshal Davidson is a sturdy buckeye, who sets up late nights guarding the interests of the public. He is a widower, middle aged and winsome. Some widow of blooming age ought to “arrest the Marshal” and do it at once.
Our friend Johns is a good catch for some fair maid, and it is a wonder that he has not been “gobbled up” before this time. Land him, dear maid, before 1905, or he will die a bachelor and you an old maid. How sad!
There’s Fred Davis, handsome as a chromo, and as honest and as true-blue a young man as there is in town. Fred can fit a pretty foot without a blush, and always welcomes customers, especially the ladies. Good boy, and don’t you forget it.
Then, there is a list of marriageable widowers, all good and true men of the realm, who ought to be “spliced” again. For instance there is O.P.C., Geo. C.C., Geo. B. and Jas. Van N. Here are four husky, good looking widowers that would make any home happy and blooming damsels who desire to “get there Eli,” have these four and some more to select from. Remember dear girls, that this is leap year, and do not put off your golden opportunity, for it you do gray hairs and wrinkles will appear before another leap year comes round, and many of your charms will be gone.
Chas. Dickason is all right in every respect. He is “industrious, honest and faithful. Would make a splendid husband and is fully capable of taking care of a sweet young wife.
Charles Kinnison is a valuable catch for some fair maid. He is well educated, affable, energetic and worthy. Keep your eyes on him, girls.
In our write-ups of the bachelors we have aimed to be jolly and complimentary and we hope our patrons have enjoyed reading the paragraphs devoted to advice to “our girls’ for Leap Year. We have a warm spot in our heart for them, and hope that some, if not all, who desire to become married women, will succeed in winning the hearts of the “old bachelors,” and that they will not forget ye editor when naming the “future citizens of Wellington.” Au revoir.
“Our list pray scan,
Select your man
For him all other beaux forsake
Say “I’ll be true,
Come dear, will you
My hand and heart forever take?”